Tuesday, January 19, 2010

New Year...New Me?

Tis the season of New Year's resolutions. I know I am almost three weeks late on the resolution craze, but since we had to celebrate Christmas almost a week after the day, I figure I am allowed a break. I refuse to call them resolutions. I am calling mine goals. I think this will give me more leeway should I choose to give them up. I don't want to be one of the 50% that fail in their resolutions. So my goals for 2010 are the following: #1:Re-join Weight Watchers. I am making a plan to add one new "healthy weight" goal each month. For the month of January I will be attending a WW meeting every week. Need to get back on the healthy eating band wagon. I will journal and measure, and EAT HEALTHY!!! February's goal shall be to add in EXERCISE. Good Lord help us all. #2:I want to learn. Being a new board member means there is so much I don't know. It also means feelings fear, pride, and no longer fitting in. I don't want people to be afraid to talk to me, but I also don't want them to only talk to me about school stuff. #3:Take pictures. Hard to believe that I don't already take enough pictures. I know you have all seen me with my camera. I am the one that has 5000+ photos on their hard drive. But I want to document our life as it happens: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Not just the special things. #4: PURGE!!!! Yes, I mean it. It is time to get rid of the things that do not bring me joy. and #5: organize what is left. Will all of this lead to the NEW ME?

Crazy thought isn't it? A new me? What could possibly be wrong with the old me? (I refuse to ask my kids as I am sure they could list more thing than this blog could hold.) I often wonder, "Do I really want a 'new' me?" Sure I could stand to lose a few (OK, more than a few) pounds, I certainly could become a better housekeeper, and possibly a better wife, mother, and friend. But would these changes really make me a new me, or just a different me? Honestly I would NOT change one thing that has happened in my life. All of my situations have made me what I am, good or bad. they have brought me to the place I am now, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I am learning to love the place where I am now. It doesn't necessarily have to be the greatest moment in my life, but who is to say that as I look back on it, it might just be a defining moment for me? I want to live and love each day that happens to me. I want to learn what God is trying to teach me at each moment. Take what I have learned and guide myself on this path. Will I make mistakes? Probably. Will I cry and hate the moment? Definitely. Will this cause me to stop trying to find the me that I know is buried? Absolutely not. Living in the moment doesn't mean that we wait for life to find us. It means recognize and take advantage of every door that is opened for us and walk through.

I know this was a bit long winded, and a bit "out-there" even for me. But I want to document my thoughts and feelings, not just what the kids are doing. I promise there will be less of this and more of the kids and pictures in the coming weeks. I leave you with the following question:

Does this boy need a hair cut?

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